"Jack Ass"

"I made this shirt just for you"

"Buck Off"

"I still miss my ex but my aim is getting better"

"I think your mullet just looked at me"

"Hey princess, bring me a beer"

"I love soccer moms"

"I love drunk chicks"

"I love hippies"

"I'm sooo wasted"

"I'm a superhero, without any special powers"

"The voices told me to do it"

"Drink til you want me"

"Scratch N Sniff"

"Of course, I don't look busy. I did it the first time"

"what happens at my place stays at my place"

"use your 12 inch voice"

"It's always about you isn't it"

"I'm smiling because I've farted"

"Every man should get married, happiness isn't everything"

"Stop me before I start making a scene"

"Nice Rack"

I like the smell of my own farts"

I'm a virgin (this is a really old shirt)"

"I pee in the shower!"

"Recovery = Sober for 3 hours"

"I love everybody! Your next."

"don't forget to spank your monkey"

"Cancel my subscription cause I don't need your issues"

"To much blood not enough alcohol"

"I'm my kid's ATM"

"Pillow talk is extra $$"

"Constant Supervision Needed"

"Kiss me before my girlfriend comes back"

"Kiss me! I have money"

"Family Reunions: Nature's dating service"

"I learn all my social skills from my television"

"Connect the dots"